Okaaaaay... Has everyone officially gone mental? What's going on? Seriously? What is wrong with you? I have broken my blog silence to give you all the following news:
NEWS: MILEY CYRUS ISN'T NEWS.
For real, I will break down in small steps the way I have interpreted her recent goings on:
1. She releases a song that's absolute gash
2. She embarrasses herself by weirdly "twerking" all over Robin Thicke at the VMAs
3. The world is shocked
4. Hilarious photos like this arise:
5. She proves she's a (petulant) child and attempts to justify her VMAs embarrassment with further embarrassing escapades, most of which involve nudity (particularly of her coated drug-tongue) and admitting to being totally cool, man, for taking drugs and sh*t
6. Clips from her second (equally sh*t) video "Wrecking Ball" are released, which show Miley gyrating naked on a wrecking ball and licking a hammer (?!)
7. One clip shows her crying, which she explains was inspired by Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares to You" video
8. Sinead O'Connor writes Miley an open letter - telling her she's being exploited and what she thinks is feminism and empowering to women is, in fact, simply degrading
9. Miley proves (via Twitter) that she's just a (clueless) child who actually has no professional (or other) respect for Sinead O'Connor by tweeting this:
10. Sinead O'Connor no longer wants to play Mrs-Nice-Woman and threatens Miley with legal action (if she does not remove the tweet and apologise) for bringing up her past battle with mental illness
11. Miley proves that she's just a (stubborn) child by keeping the tweet
12. Sinead writes some more letters
13. Some other people write letters
14. Miley makes a ridiculous statement that the reason she sticks her tongue out is because that's how she smells
15. I dispair of the WHOLE WORLD
For real, though? All you can do is laugh at this. Can someone please tell me why people are attempting to have even remotely intellectual discussions about this?
It's very clear: Miley is a child, she's not being exploited by anyone, she's simply making some awful, inevitably regrettable decisions; and Sinead O'Connor? Well, probably needn't have got so involved (Nb. This is an unpopular opinion).
People loved Sinead's letter, but to be honest, I found it quite self indulgent and actually just condescending. It certainly wasn't the way to get through to a child - evidently - and actually, Sinead should have just laughed at Miley like the rest of the (sane) world.
To be completely honest, I have literally no idea where all this drama has come from. Why is everyone so shocked by Miley?
Miley Cyrus in a thong. Ke$ha in a thong. Rihanna in a thong. Lady Gaga in a thong. Nicki Minaj in a thong.... Replace the phrase 'in a thong' with 'topless' and we've still heard it all before.
This generation's 'role models' are all the same, and you know what? It's not very interesting.
A recent pandemic that I will call "Hot Naked Girl Fatigue" has descended upon us. We're surrounded by them. Female pop stars, Victoria's Secret models, women's magazines, fashion week shows, porn. Where can't you find hot naked girls? Can someone please explain to me what's news?
I mean, if Miley had done a 'Madonna' and actually used her sexuality to voice a strong message, she might have earned her little twerking bottom some respect. But, no. There's absolutely no substance to her, and if I'm honest, I've seen way hotter naked girls just reading Cosmopolitan. All she's done is demolish any possible respect as a credible artist. Shame.
She could check herself into rehab tomorrow and no one would think on it for a second.
She's just one in a long list of child stars who Disney have dumped and they now have absolutely no idea how to act as free adults. I.e. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Christina Aguilera, Demi Lovato and... Miley Cyrus. Can you see a pattern?
And, if I were to mention that whilst all this is going on, Syria still have a stockpile of chemical weapons... Would you still want to talk about Miley Cyrus?